She was always the one in the background. Observing and obedient. Never raised her voice to object or dissent. Quiet as a mouse with an aura of meekness. Sometimes people would be amazed at how peaceful she seemed, always calm even when everything around her was in a shambles but even then they could never really see what went on beneath her cool exterior. The way her mind was constantly turning, this way and that. Trying to figure out life and living it the best way she knew how.
There were days she felt so hopeful and awake she thought she would burst yet there were others that left her drained, angry and tired that all she wanted was to simply melt and disappear. Things never got easier for her and this was made even harder by the fact that most people assumed that she was weak and undeserving and yet she woke up every single day and lived. Inspite of the negativity, the noise, the defeat, the failure, the unshakable feeling of hopelessness. She got up and tried even when she got ridiculed and rejected. She felt that she owed it to herself to at least try. To try and make things work. To try and be somebody in this world and not merely exist. To try and show others that she had a right to be here too. Just as they were.
She still tries. She still falls. But she has learned to find the beauty in these ‘failures’. To take them as experiences that will build her and help her to become better if not the best. Row your boat gently down the stream dear, life is but a dream.