I love Psalm 139:13-14a. It says, ‘For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.’
It is so easy to read this verse and not fully grasp how awesome it is. Each and every one of us is uniquely created. God intentionally and carefully thought about and created each and every one of us! Even our personalities, (my inmost being) were intentionally created by Him! Isn’t it beautiful that every individual has a unique aspect of God that only they can bring out? In a world that is obsessed with comparison, it is always so refreshing for me to remember this verse and just marvel at how much freedom and joy it represents. We need not stifle who we are and we need not stifle who others are because when we do that, we all miss out on something only they can bring to the table.
Sometimes looking at people as God’s unique creation helps me become more interested in finding out who they are. It helps me to appreciate and love them and most of all it helps me to appreciate who God made me to be. Every so often I am tempted to compare myself to others and whether it’s because they have something I wish I had or because I think I have something they don’t, I usually end up dealing with envy or pride. This verse is such an important reminder that our differences are actually beautiful!
Photo Credit: Ministry Ark
Sometimes it is hard for her to see past the pain and anger. Yet sometimes she seems to rise above it. As if something inside of her reminds her that she is way more than that. Because even though her experiences define her, she really wants to define herself. She has come to discover that it requires a special kind of strength. A special kind of stubbornness if you will. From a lifetime of hearing what people have to say about her, through not-so-many words, it took her to long to find out that she doesn’t have to take it all in. And since then she has started to see the beauty in things she paid no attention to. She has started to see the beauty inside of her. Sometimes she smiles by herself, enjoying her own company, her own dance and her own music. She has decided to make her own rules, her own goals, her own ambitions. She is rooting for herself. And she will win.
When life gets challenging we often tend to start questioning the meaning of it all. We ask the whys and the what ifs. Needless to say, when things are going good we tend to take quite a lot of things for granted. And maybe that’s why our low points are so important. They remind us to be more grateful and thoughtful. To recognize the fact that things are not always smooth sailing so that when the good times come around we can have a genuine sense of enjoyment.
I have learnt the greatest lessons in my life from the most difficult moments. After my father died, I learnt to appreciate my loved ones. To realize that they’re not going to be around forever and so I treasure the memories I make with them. Losing a job and being flat broke taught me to be kind to those who do not have as much as I do. To share what little I have because even that little makes such a huge difference. From a nasty bullying experience at work I learnt to be compassionate and to speak up for those who are considered less or small because unfortunately, there’s people who prey on the weak and voiceless. Getting rejected taught me to be graceful even in the most humiliating of circumstances because the world is actually quite small and you never know when or how you’ll meet someone again.
Failing taught me the value of hard work and discipline, to give everything my all no matter the outcome. To quiet the voices that mock your effort. Because in the end, these hard times shape you and you come out better and stronger because of them. So even in life’s painful moments, there’s the hope that we are being prepared for something bigger than ourselves. So don’t pray for an easy life, pray for one that can change others.
The thing about being an adult who doesn’t have it all together is that you’re an adult who doesn’t have it all together and almost everyone you meet will remind of you this and it is the hardest and sometimes most humiliating place to be. You find yourself constantly feeling like you have to prove yourself or explain away why you’re where you are and trying to convince everyone, if not yourself, that everything will turn out great! You’ll see! Urgh! Most of the time you wish disappearing was an option. Like literally disappearing into the thin invisible air because that’s all you want to be, invisible, non-existent, unknown.
Being vulnerable is hard and terrifying just as it is hard and sometimes terrifying to be around vulnerable people because both parties have an awkward air about them. Trying to do and say the right things in an effort to make the situation less uncomfortable and albeit more pleasant and optimistic. I may be going through what some may term as a quarter life crisis. And not in a graceful way if I might add. It is hard to wake up every morning and literally just hate the fact that you exist! I never thought that being born could feel like the most unfair thing that can happen. That sounds terrible but its true. I was born into a family of high achievers, surrounded by people who knew exactly what they wanted and how they were going to go about getting it. Yet none of that rubbed off on me! Sometimes its exhausting to give yourself pep talks every damn morning. Trying to get the universe to respond to the fact that I really do want things to be better and so start making things work out already!
Anyway, in light of world events, I guess I shouldn’t complain. I should count my blessings and appreciate the fact that I’m still here. And if I am still here then I am meant to be here so, Dear Me, get it together!
I came across a tweet I wrote very many months ago. . . probably a year ago and it says ‘Anything that makes me need God is a blessing.’ I did a double take because right now where I am in my life is not exactly a rosy place. And I have been complaining and whining (internally mostly) to God about how I hate where I am and what not. And it’s funny because I have been whining to HIM! Haha! So that statement makes sense in a weird way. I mean, if everything was actually rosy, then I wouldn’t have given my God the time of day. What is sadder than that?
Every girl gets to the point when they absolutely stop mentioning their age to anybody. For me I guess this one is it. I think I’m still spinning from the speed at which I got here. I mean just the other day I was turning 20 with such great hopes and dreams for the future. And if I’m being honest, I’m not where I would have wanted to be at 27. Ideally by now I should have had a great job, accomplished some great degrees, married to a great husband and have at least one great kid. But you know, life kinda just happens and you can actually get to 27 and never having been on a date. Like, it’s real. Anyway, I thank God for the far I have come, and for the small victories I have experienced thanks to Him. Because as much as I may not like where I am in terms of the plans I had for myself, I’m still here and that means something. There’s sadly alot of people who didn’t make it to their 27th birthdays.
I am slowly learning the value of living each day as it comes and enjoying the moment. It’s something we are frequently told to do yet we seldom heed this advice. We are constantly seeking the next big thing for our lives. Always striving and striving but never really stepping back to take stock and try to weigh out what’s really important. What really deserves our time and energy. As I get into 2016, God willing, I hope I take the lessons I have learnt from past mistakes and be better because sometimes we make routine mistakes because of the fear of the unknown or because we don’t want to get out of the comfort zone. Life truly is about taking risks and I guess we just need to weigh the risks in terms of which ones are worth it.
Fear is a good thing; I like the quote that says ‘Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to continue in spite of it.’ I have made way too many decisions based on fear than I’d like to admit and I hope this is something that changes. Or at least I’m working to change it. Especially in terms of my faith, I have been challenged to step out in faith instead of fear and to attempt great things for God because this world badly needs people who are not afraid to make a difference. Even if the difference is small, the impact will most probably have a lasting effect.
So in my new year, I want to be less selfish and more giving. ‘He must become greater; I must become less.’
The #1 song the day I was born was Chicago’s Look Away. I’ve never heard this song before and it’s about heartbreak so, no it does not relate to my personality. Or if ‘looking away’ has got something to do with pride then maybe it does? Anyways, I was born on my country’s independence day. That’s enough to make me feel special :D. I’m easy like that. That said I wish I could sit down (or cradle?) ‘just-born’ me and tell her how things are going to play out. You know prepare that little kid for what’s coming coz a lot’s coming! So. .
Dear 1988 me,
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel like you’re less than, less than perfect! You’ll be called names, put down, understimated, used and abused, abandoned, misunderstood and let down. Don’t let it get to you. Don’t hide who you are. Don’t apologize for being you. You are unique and valuable. There’s literally no one else like you in this whole planet! A lot of things will happen in your life that you won’t understand but it will all come together when the time is right. Laugh at your failures, don’t dwell on them. They’ll teach what no one else can. Grow and thrive from them. Don’t be afraid to love, to be vulnerable, to question. You’ll be surprised at the beautiful people you’ll meet along the way. Some will hurt you. Deeply. But this world is chock full of hurting people so don’t ever throw hurt back at someone. ‘Compassion cures more sin than condemnation’, remember that. The truth is, you will hurt people too, even when you have the best of intentions. Don’t let the pain you’ll experience rule your life because you’ll forget to see the ones who care for you and love you, just as you are! All complicated, difficult and extremely flawed. Most of all The Maker loves you! So Live Like You’re Loved!
Your Number One