I love Psalm 139:13-14a. It says, ‘For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.’
It is so easy to read this verse and not fully grasp how awesome it is. Each and every one of us is uniquely created. God intentionally and carefully thought about and created each and every one of us! Even our personalities, (my inmost being) were intentionally created by Him! Isn’t it beautiful that every individual has a unique aspect of God that only they can bring out? In a world that is obsessed with comparison, it is always so refreshing for me to remember this verse and just marvel at how much freedom and joy it represents. We need not stifle who we are and we need not stifle who others are because when we do that, we all miss out on something only they can bring to the table.
Sometimes looking at people as God’s unique creation helps me become more interested in finding out who they are. It helps me to appreciate and love them and most of all it helps me to appreciate who God made me to be. Every so often I am tempted to compare myself to others and whether it’s because they have something I wish I had or because I think I have something they don’t, I usually end up dealing with envy or pride. This verse is such an important reminder that our differences are actually beautiful!
Photo Credit: Ministry Ark
At the end of the day, she wants someone who is not afraid to admit what they’re feeling. Someone brave enough to go for what they want. Someone who knows where he is going and how to get there. If he is filled with doubts then who’s to guess the day they’ll clear? Is she expected to be sure for him? Is she expected to be the one that reassures him whenever he wants to run? She is tired of having to bear the burden of thinking for him. Feeling for him. What more can she do then? She was taught that he has to be the one that fights for her. The one that chases her and captures her heart. But how many have chased her when she’d rather not run? And how many has she foolishly waited for and never gave her a
fighting chance? a running chance?
To be or not to be. He loves me; he loves me not. How long does she have to wait before her magical story happens? What if it will never happen, will it be her fault? Will she be sad and alone many years down the line thinking about the shoulda coulda wouldas? Maybe she’s put unrealistic expectations on him. Maybe deep down, she doesn’t know what she wants either. Maybe that’s why she wants him to be sure. So he will clear her doubts for her. To be the one that reassures her when she wants to run. To bear the burden of thinking for her. To feel for her. Or maybe she will not care what happens one way or the other. It will be his loss. Right?
You constantly think about him nowadays.When you wake up, when you’re washing the dishes, when you listen to music, when you read, when you go to sleep. It’s addictive and exciting and exhausting and frustrating. What is he doing? What is he thinking? What is he feeling? Does he think about you as much? Does everything remind him of you? You’re always hoping that when a message comes in, that it’s from him. Maybe he’ll ask how you’re doing or what you’re up to or if you’d like to do something together. You ask yourself when you became this person, this day-dreamy, fantasy-making, moon-addled person. It’s not like he’s that good looking.
These feelings don’t make sense. I mean, is he even your type? Do you even have a type? Does he have any idea how much he has intruded into your world? The once calm and peaceful space that was your own? Does he have any idea? You have a relationship with the guy in your head. The one you have built, except with his face. Sometimes you want to throw him out yet most of the time you’re glad he’s there.
You hope there’s someone with your face in his head too. Haunting his days like a pleasant and strange ghost. Until you meet him again, you entertain his ghost. You do not tell a single soul because you don’t understand it and maybe you never will. But if he’s not telling then you’re not telling too.
The #1 song the day I was born was Chicago’s Look Away. I’ve never heard this song before and it’s about heartbreak so, no it does not relate to my personality. Or if ‘looking away’ has got something to do with pride then maybe it does? Anyways, I was born on my country’s independence day. That’s enough to make me feel special :D. I’m easy like that. That said I wish I could sit down (or cradle?) ‘just-born’ me and tell her how things are going to play out. You know prepare that little kid for what’s coming coz a lot’s coming! So. .
Dear 1988 me,
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel like you’re less than, less than perfect! You’ll be called names, put down, understimated, used and abused, abandoned, misunderstood and let down. Don’t let it get to you. Don’t hide who you are. Don’t apologize for being you. You are unique and valuable. There’s literally no one else like you in this whole planet! A lot of things will happen in your life that you won’t understand but it will all come together when the time is right. Laugh at your failures, don’t dwell on them. They’ll teach what no one else can. Grow and thrive from them. Don’t be afraid to love, to be vulnerable, to question. You’ll be surprised at the beautiful people you’ll meet along the way. Some will hurt you. Deeply. But this world is chock full of hurting people so don’t ever throw hurt back at someone. ‘Compassion cures more sin than condemnation’, remember that. The truth is, you will hurt people too, even when you have the best of intentions. Don’t let the pain you’ll experience rule your life because you’ll forget to see the ones who care for you and love you, just as you are! All complicated, difficult and extremely flawed. Most of all The Maker loves you! So Live Like You’re Loved!
Your Number One